The Stories I Tell Myself

(Or, How to Stop without an Excuse)

Starting in high school, I used to imagine throwing myself down a flight of stairs so my ankle would break, just enough to make everything stop.

Stopping for no reason never felt acceptable.

(It terrifies me that I use cancer as an excuse to stop. And because the cancer in me tends to come back, I will keep using it as one.)

That doesn’t mean I didn’t (or …